


Love is a Pride parade

by Ellies



Series: Pride Month Prompts 2020 [1]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Coming Out, Damen and Nikandros are 19, Gay Pride, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Rainbows, like three minutes of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:53:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24527179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellies/pseuds/Ellies
Summary: Nikandros is Damen's family since they were sixteen, when Damen left his house and his parents and started living with Nikandros' family.Years later, they both discover something.
Relationships: Damen/Nikandros (Captive Prince)
Series: Pride Month Prompts 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772524
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Love is a Pride parade

**Author's Note:**

> I just love Nikandros and Damen as young lovers, and as brothers. They have such a strong relationship.

When Damen talked, Nikandros found it _very_ hard to concentrate on the words. It was impossible to, because his lips were so full and red, and he couldn’t manage to talk without smiling a little, and the smile brought with it a little dimple on his left cheek, and Nikandros felt his neck flush and his abdomen twist unpleasantly. It wasn’t that he didn’t like what he was feeling, it was that... he had never felt anything like this for another man, let alone for his lifelong best friend. 

Damen always said that Nikandros was his family, and he really was. At nineteen, Damen had only one family member alive, one he did not spoke to or about, and he had basically lived with Nikandros and his family since they were sixteen. Nikandros could recognize him by touch alone, by smell. Growing up together, they had reached a point in which they could live together with their eyes closed. Nikandros knew when Damen was hurt, when he quietly sobbed into the pillow in the bed next to his because he didn’t want to wake Nikandros up; he knew when Damen was angry just by looking at his face, his body; he knew when he was happy and in love because he radiated that from his body, and Nikandros had always found that Damen to be his favourite, because love made him glow and it suited him. He had never understood why, not until now. 

The realisation almost made him laugh loudly in the middle of the class. He could not believe that he had never understood that his affection for Damen was more than just brotherly love, that it was actual love. He kept looking at Damen, who had answered his last question and was now walking towards him with a wide grin. 

“How did it go?” Nikandros asked, trying to focus on something – everything – else that was not Damen’s face, or body. 

“Hey, I thought you were listening to me,” Damen whined, teasing, before shooting him another one of his killing grins. “I aced it, but I’m not surprised, I loved this course,” 

“Sorry, I was... distracted,” he said, shaking his head and focusing on the girl that was currently speaking. He should have taken notes because he, unlike Damen, had not like this course very much. “I’m not surprised either,” he managed to say, smiling. “You are the most intelligent person I know.” 

Damen smiled, but then stayed quiet for a second and looked at him with a strange expression. “Nik, is everything okay?” 

Nikandros wasn’t even surprised that Damen had noticed. He wasn’t the only one who understood the other perfectly. Damen may be a little oblivious, sometimes, but never with Nikandros. He laughed quietly, and nodded. “Yeah, don’t worry. I was thinking I should have written the questions. I’m never gonna pass it, otherwise.” 

Damen pretended to believe him. “Don’t worry, I’ll help you study,” he said, placing a hand on his arm and squeezing a little, trying to comfort him. Nikandros felt his heart pound at that simple gesture, and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to recollect himself from all the things that he was suddenly feeling. Then, he sighed, pretending that his little moment was because of the stress of the exam. “Thank you, Damen,” he said, too softly for his own ears. 

“Hey,” Damen said, making him turn and giving him a soft smile. “I have an idea. We should get drunk this evening.”

* * *

They did. Nikandros had felt on the edge the whole day and desperately needed to stop thinking about his feeling for Damen.  
They were laying on the soft rug of their small two-bedrooms apartment, the one that his parents had bought them when they had started college less than a year ago. It had been simple, falling in a new routine with Damen. It had been less simple when Damen had brought a girl for the night for the first time, and Nikandros had spent the whole time wondering if she actually liked him or she only wanted to fuck him. It had been obvious when, a month later, Damen had brought someone else home, a dark-haired man who Nikandros had clearly heard when he was fucking Damen, even if their rooms were not even adjacent. That had been one of the worst nights of his life, but Nikandros had thought it had just been because he had little sleep. Now he understood that he was because he didn’t want to hear Damen fuck with someone else. 

Sitting upright abruptly, Nikadros felt his head spin, but he couldn’t be drunk enough if he still had the will to think about his feelings. 

Damen looked at him from the floor, a relaxed expression on his face, but frowned a little, extending an arm in his direction and placing a hand on his thigh. “Are you ok? Are you going to be sick?” 

Nikandros looked at the hand, and then at Damen, and shook his head. Then, he stood to fast, ignoring the protests of his body. “I have to take a piss,” he just said, and he didn’t run to the bathroom only because he had a little self-control left. 

Closing the door behind him, he leaned on the cool surface and closed his head. He was never going to pee, because Damen touching him had made him hard. He could barely look at his groin, he didn’t want to look at it. He didn’t want to acknowledge what was happening. He didn’t want Damen to find out, but at the same time they had never kept secrets from each other. Nikandros felt like crying and the alcohol did not help. 

When he came back into the living room, he grabbed another bottle of beer and emptied it quickly, not looking at his best friend, just closing his eyes and hoping that his feelings would go away overnight.

* * *

A week later, Nikandros woke to someone jumping on his bed and screaming something at him. 

“Damen,” he groaned, turning to his side and trying to hide under the sheets. “It’s too early to this tone of voice. Pleeease.” 

He heard Damen laugh, and then he was at his side, hugging him under the covers. “But it’s Pride, Nik, you know I love Pride,” 

Nikandros found himself stilling. He was so distracted in the last week that had forgotten what day it was. He fored himself to relax, and turned to face Damen. 

“I know you do, and I do it too,” he said, and he meant it. Since Damen had come out to him at the age of 13, he had always wanted to attend a Pride parade. Nikandros had sworn that he would have always been at his side, and he had never broken that promise. Coming out to his family had not been pleasant, and it was one of the main reasons why he moved in with Nikandros’ family and still didn’t talk to Kastor. 

He found himself moving to hug Damen, sinking his face into his neck. “You are my brother. I love you and I’ll never leave you alone,” he whispered, even if those words had a new meaning for him. He had started saying that when he had called him, one night, saying that his father had hit him. Nikandros had been shocked, because Theomedes was a hard man and he knew it, but had never hit Damen before. When Damen had confessed him that it was because of his bisexuality, something that seemed that his family could not accept, Nikandros had told him to come to his house, and he had spent the entire night comforting him. From that moment, he had made a promise to himself: he would never let anyone else hurt Damen because of his sexuality, and he would always tell him he loved him and accepted him for who he was. 

They stayed like that for some time, and Nikandros felt that Damen was relaxed against his body. When they parted, Damen smiled at him and held his hand, and Nikandros felt like a hand was crushing his heart because how could he tell Damen he was in love with him without ruining what they had? 

“I’m so lucky I have you, Nik,” he said, whispering, and Nikandros didn’t know what to say, so he changed subject. 

“Are you bringing someone to the parade today?” he asked, and he almost hoped Damen did, so he could stay alone in the crowd, and not walking beside Damen, their hands linked, and thinking the whole time that that was just Pride, that they were not together, not really. 

“No,” Damen said, and smiled a little. “I thought it should be just the two of us... It’s our first Pride in college and I wanted it to be special.” 

Nikandros smiled, but Damen was being too much, so he nodded and got out of bed. “Well, we should go prepare, then. I don’t want to be late, and I know you want your flag to be perfect.” 

Damen grinned, and followed him into the bathroom.

* * *

Nikandros had the habit of painting his and Damen’s face for the parade. He was simply better than Damen, and Damen relaxed while he worked on his skin. Over time, he had improved his skills, and always found new ways to paint his face. This year, he had painted Damen’s whole face, eyelids included, so that there was a giant bisexual flag on his face, the purples and the blue mixing well together. He had even put a purple mascara on his eyelashes and... he looked so beautiful. 

He forced himself to move away from him, looking a himself in the mirror. 

“Do you want me to paint your face?” he heard Damen asking, and he turned, a grin on his lips. 

“Do I have to remind you what happened last time?” 

“Oh, come on! It wasn’t that bad...” 

“Yes, it was. That’s why I’m in charge of colours and you are not,” Nikandros answered, laughing. 

Damen let the argument drop, and stood beside him. “So, you are not painting your face?” he asked, looking at him quizzically. 

“Yes, I was just wondering what,” 

“You could paint a rainbow flag, that’s pretty neutral,” 

“Yeah, maybe. I want to try something new,” Nikandros said, and sent Damen out of the bathroom. “You go prepare water and everything. I don’t want to spend a fortune because we forgot water again, and I don’t want to die under the sun.” 

When he heard the noise of Damen in the kitchen, he started painting. He had always let Damen be the loud and colourful one; Nikandros simply painted some symbols on his cheeks and wore a plain t-shirt that could be stained with colours and glitters during the parade, but this time he wanted it to be different. 

When he got out of the bathroom half of his face was painted in rainbow, the other half in the same colours that Damen wore. It took him definitely too long to decide to do that. He was afraid of the statement, of Damen asking why those colours, and Damen always asked. 

When he wandered into the living room, he saw Damen’s eyes scanning him and he simply smiled. Nikandros felt anxious, so he talked before Damen could say anything. 

“I wanted to match you, is this alright?” 

“Of course it is, Nik. I love it,” he said, smiling and giving him his backpack. “Are we ready? We should arrive in time for the parade to start.”

* * *

Every year, Pride surprised Nik. He somehow forgot every time how loud, and colourful, and happy it was. It was a feeling that overwhelmed him with joy, more so when he saw how happy it made Damen. Being there had always been a challenge for his best friend, ever since his father discovered where he went. But there, Damen could be free and be himself, and honestly, Nikandros really wanted nothing else for him. 

He grabbed Damen’s hand without thinking, realising it too late not to. It was rewarded with one of the brightest smiles Damen had ever given him. Nikandros realised that it probably was because Damen always went to Pride with someone else, too, beside of Nikandros, and they had not held hands at the parade for years. 

The start of the parade was always slow, and he suffered the hot weather, until everything started moving, music pumping into his ears and body, and he was walking and singing to pop songs alongside other people. What Nikandros loved, was that everyone behaved like family; moms and dads offered free parent-hugs; boys and girls of all ages walked with motivational signs declaring that everyone deserved love; friends and families walked together. It was wonderful, and Nikandros always wished it didn’t have to end so soon. 

After a while, when the crowd had dispersed a little and they could breathe easily, Damen whispered that he wanted to take a picture with a drag queen, and he dragged him to be his photographer. Nikandros smiled and took out his phone, taking some pictures and thanking the drag queen when Damen ran away to photograph something else. She simply smiled and nodded, giving him an eloquent glance that made him blush. 

He realised that people probably thought that they were together, and that made him stomach twist. Damen was a few meters away, talking to two men with a little girl dressed in a rainbow fairy costume, and the desire of kissing Damen overwhelmed him, and he was forced to sit on the side of the road and collect himself. 

He didn’t notice that Damen had come back until he spoke. 

“Nik, are you okay?” he said, sitting next to him and taking a large sip of water. 

Nikandros didn’t answer, and looked at his feet. 

“Nik?” Damen said, worried, and when he looked at him, Nikandros saw that had lost his smile, and hated himself for that. 

“I think I may be bisexual,” Nikandros admitted, without thinking too much about it, because if he did, he would never say it. 

Damen stayed silent just for a second, then gave him the biggest smile. “You are my brother. I love you, and I’ll never leave you alone,” he said, and Nikandros swore a tear left his eyes. It was probably true, because Damen was stroking his hair slowly. “Hey, it’s okay. I know it can be scary but-” 

“It’s not scary,” Nikandros interrupted him, abruptly, like he couldn’t stop talking now that he had started. “Well, I think that maybe telling my parents will be a little scary, but they accepted you, so I’m not so worried. It’s scarier why I understood it,” 

Damen was not saying anything, and Nikandros closed his eyes, because he was going to say it and he couldn’t look at Damen rejecting him. “It’s scary because you are my best friend and you may not be anymore.” 

“Why, what? Why would I leave you when-” 

“Because it’s you, Damen. It’s you why I realised I loved men, too.” 

Nikandros had his eyes still closed, so he did not see, but he heard it. Damen made the smallest of sounds, like his breath had been trapped into his throat. He was still not saying anything, and Nikandros stood, and felt Damen’s hand slide away from him. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry Damen. I didn’t want to tell you now, at Pride, and ruining it for you. I didn’t want to ruin... us. You are my brother and I love you, but I- I can’t stay here while you reject me, and I’m really sorry that I’m so selfish, but I can’t. I need to think, and probably you need it too.” 

He was speaking without thinking, without hearing, and probably his words were the same mess that his head was. It broke his heart to turn and leave Damen, but he needed to be alone and crying, and he didn’t want to do it in front of him. 

He was walking among the crowd, looking for the metro station that would bring him home, when he heard his name. He couldn’t have misunderstood, because his was really not a common name there. Also, he recognised the voice. Damen’s voice. 

Nikandros didn’t want to turn, but he had stopped in the middle of the road. He was breathing steadily, trying to not let himself panic. 

“Nik...” Damen said, his voice now so close. He felt his finger brushing lightly his shoulder and he turned, looking at Damen’s face. He looked confused, the paint on his forehead a little smeared, like he had passed his fingers on his skin and into his hair. He used to do that when he was thinking but couldn’t come to a conclusion, when he was frustrated. Then he grabbed his hand and dragged him to the side of the road, again, and Nikandros let himself be pulled because he was shocked that Damen would even want to be near him. 

“Nik, ehi,” he spoke softly, trying to get Nikandros to look at him. “It’s not like you to be like this. Why... why would you think that I wanted to leave you? Why do you think that you ruined our relationship?” 

Damen was asking questions that Nikandros didn’t know how to answer, even if it was very simple. “Because I just came out to you and I have no right to tell you that I love you when you don’t,” he whispered. 

“It’s not a competition. You could have known your entire life and not telling me until now, and it would have been fine, because I would never have forced you to when you weren’t ready,” 

“I don’t want to lose you, but if I think about you bringing home someone... I can’t. And that means we would have to move out, and I wouldn’t see you as much as I do now, and I feel like shit because I could have avoided it if I had just stayed shut.” 

“I think you need to breathe, Nik, and think about now, and not about the next ten years,” Damen said, and tried to calm him by stroking his fingers with his own. “I... I’m not going to lie to you and say that what you said didn’t affect me in the slightest. I’m not saying I love you, but I care about you a lot, you are my best friend and we’ve been together our entire life...” 

Damen was speaking carefully, something that he rarely did, only when he was trying very hard to prove something, to himself and others, so Nikandros let him speak, trying not to think. 

“I think that- I mean, sometimes... fuck,” Damen swore and sighed loudly, clearly not being able to express what was trying to say. “If I told you I want to kiss you, would you think I’m doing it out of pity?” 

Nikandros didn’t let his heart miss a bit at that. He knew why Damen had asked, but he also knew the answer. “No,” he simply said. Damen wouldn’t have done that to Nikandros. “But I don’t really know why you would.” 

“Sometimes I wondered... how that would be. My lips on yours, your body pressed on mine not because we fell asleep together but because we wanted each other,” Damen whispered, and at that, Nikanros felt his heart ache. “I laughed at that, because you were my best friend and you never told me you were interested in boys, and I didn’t want to try without you being sure... Christ, it sounds so strange telling you this.” 

“You thought about kissing me?” 

“Yeah,” Damen laughed nervously. “When I started to notice that I liked boys too... I always imagined that we could... that you would let me kiss you, because I liked you, and we were friends, and I thought you were safe. I know it’s not the same thing, I don’t think I loved you but... I liked you.” 

Nikandros stayed silent for a minute, then looked at Damen. “Do you still like me?” 

“I- I don’t know. I think that it would be awkward at first, because we are... well, us. But... I’m not opposed to it.” 

Nikandros sighed, and put his face into his hands. “This morning I would have given everything to hear those words, now I feel all embarrassed,” he whispered, but let one of his hand slide into Damen’s. “Are you sure you’re not telling me this because you don’t want to make me sad?” 

Damen laughed a little. “I’m sure, Nik. Do you think I would hurt you like that?” he shook his head. “No, I’m just telling the truth. You telling me that just made me remember when we were fifteen, and that’s what I felt for you at that age.” 

“Do you think you could love me?” 

“I already love you,” Damen said, even if he knew what Nikandros meant. 

“Romantically, not... in a platonic way. Do you think you could do that? Because I don’t want it, if you think you can’t. I don’t care having my hart broken now, if I can still have you in my life.” 

“I think I do, Nik,” Damen whispered, and let his hands slide on Nikandros arm, up until he reached his neck. 

Nikandros felt himself flush, and his heart started drumming. “You’re right, it’s awkward. I didn’t think it would be,” 

“It’s normal. It won’t be like this forever,” 

“Not even the butterflies?” 

“My mother...” Damen started to talk without thinking, and he stopped for just a second when he realized he was talking about his family. “She used to tell me that love should be about feeling safe, not anxious. If the butterflies last for too long, then it’s not the right person for you.” 

“Well, then I hope tomorrow they will be gone,” Nikandros said, and he felt himself burn for how sappy he was. 

Damen didn’t laugh, nor he said anything for a while. “Can I try to kiss you?” he whispered, his voice unsure. 

Nikandros felt his heart beat so much faster, then he got up, his hands still linked. “Yes,” 

Then, Damen gave him a beautiful smile, and stood in front of him. They were about of the same height, so he could look easily into his eyes. Damen put one hand on his hip, the other still in his, and Nikadros let his free hand wander into Damen’s curls. 

“I’m nervous,” he admitted, but Damen only shook his head and pulled him closer. 

“Don’t be,” he said, before he softly kissed his lips. 

Nikandros closed his eyes and let his lips part. Dame’s mouth was soft, and salty, and he could breathe the smell of his skin. The kiss deepened without them realizing, and Nikandros kept stroking his curls, and Damen sighed softly into his mouth, content. When they parted, Nikandros hid his face into Damen’s neck, not caring about the sweat that was ruining the paint. He dared a little kiss on his neck, and was rewarded with the most beautiful gasp from Damen, who tightened the grip on his side. 

“Nik...” he breathed. 

“Yeah, me too,” Nikandros laughed, perfectly understanding Damen. 

Standing there, like there wasn’t anyone around watching them, felt really right, and in that moment Nikandros thought that, maybe, they could do it.

* * *

They rang the doorbell and, when the door opened, Nikandros’ mother greeted them with a big smile. “My boys!” she said, happy, and squeezed them into a hug. “Honey! There’s Nikandros and Damen,” she shouted at her husband, disappearing into the kitchen. 

Damen closed the door and gently squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture. Nikandros nodded, smiling, and they went into the living room where his father was, sitting on his armchair. Damen ran to hug him, and he heard them talking. 

“How’s the pain? Let me...” he said, and helped the man into his wheelchair. That wasn’t really necessary, but Damen wanted to. He had always wanted to help the man, that was like a father to him, since he got into the accident and was forced in a wheelchair. 

Nikandros hugged him too, and they sat on the couch while they waited for his mother to come out of the kitchen. 

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to cook lunch now. We could go out,” his father said, rolling his eyes and going into the kitchen to talk to his wife. 

Alone in the living room, Nikandros reached for Damen’s hand and breathed heavily. Damen brought the hand to his lips and kissed it, trying to comfort him. 

“It will be alright, trust me. I was terrified of their reaction but they were so kind and understanding. You are their son, they will love you nonetheless,” he said, gently. 

“You are their son too, you know. I heard mom say it, once. Don’t think they love you less than me,” 

“Yeah, I know,” Damen said, and he meant it. 

Nikandros waited another minute or so before he called their parents. “Mom? Dad? Can you please come here?” 

“Yes, we’ll be right there!” they shouted from the kitchen, and after a minute they came, bringing plates with them. Nikandros caught his father glancing at him, and he laughed. 

“You couldn’t stop her, could you?” 

“Absolutely not,” his father grinned, and put the plates on the low table. His mother brought vegetables and some small bowls filled with sauces. 

“Oh man, I love your hummus,” Damen whispered and smiled to her, dipping a carrot into it and eating happily. 

“I know you do, baby boy,” she said, fondly, and Nikandros thought that telling Damen that this was his family had always been right. He started eating too, trying not to feel anxious, but he saw the glances between their parents and he knew that he had to start talking. 

“Mom, dad, I have to tell you something,” he started, and his mother smiled, encouraging. “In the last months I started to realize... with Damen’s help- I thought I should tell you” he stuttered, and stopped for a second to recollect himself. “I’m bisexual, and Damen and I have been dating for the last three months,” he said, and he immediately grabbed Damen’s hand and held it tightly. 

The first thing that he heard was his mother _squeal_. Like, an actual squeal. Then, she got up and came hugging him, kissing him on the cheek. “Baby, I’m so proud of you. And I’m so happy,” she smiled, on her knees in front of them. Then, she turned to Damen. “My dear boy, I knew you were good for him, I’m so happy that things worked out between you two.” 

Damen started laughing, and Nikandros looked at him, confused. “I may or may not have gone into her room, one night, telling her about my feelings towards you,” 

“Did you know about this?” he said, shocked, to his father. He shook his head, but was smiling. 

Her mother was still smiling, their hands into her smaller ones. 

“We should go out, this evening, what do you think?” 

“I think I’m always up for some food,” Nikandros said, and leaned into Damen, sighing happily and smiling. 

Everything had been alright, and it would always be, if he had his family with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you spot the quote? ;)


End file.
